


A Rogue by Any Other Name

by InterNutter



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anthology, Gen, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-16
Updated: 2019-05-16
Packaged: 2020-03-06 06:07:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,559
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18845197
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InterNutter/pseuds/InterNutter
Summary: Nono "Sno" Ton is adopted by one (or another) of Tres Horny Boys. So far, it's Merle who gets to be Dad. Their bad influence turns her into a Rogue, but she multiclasses in different directions. Oh, and in this altered set of universes, she's also a sassy teen.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: The McElroys made the toys, I made this mess in the sandbox. I blame Dualityandsuch/Lampersands for breeding so many fun plot kittens.
> 
> Once again, gathered from the larger collection of Tumblr Prompt Stories, staring with "Tumbl'd 3: Still TAZ" here on this very website.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dualityandsuch said:  
> Can we see Sno Highchurch meeting THB?

The Lonely Hearts Cantina...

“Say, are there any  _teens_  here?” said Merle.

“You really aught’a not say that,” said Nono. “You’re giving off like a million creepy vibes.”

The Elf in the corner transmuted his table into meat. “DAMNIT!”

“Whoah,” said Magnus. “We should sign that wizard  _up!_  He just made the entire table be meat!” Aiming to at least hack off a slice and eat it, he rushed in to the corner... and recognised the Elf. “Taako? Oh my gods, it’s Taako... I loved your show, what happened?”

“...got cancelled...” he said. “D’ruther not talk about it.”

“Cancelled? But you were like the best! I still remember when you came to Ravensroost. You did this thing with the local cave slugs? Man, I never tasted anything so good...”

Taako seemed supremely disinterested. “Yeah, life goes in weird directions...”

“Okay, so... this job over here in Kreg’s List? It needs a wizard, a cleric, and a fighter, and... You could be our wizard.”

“What about the blue bean pole over there?”

“She’s a druid,” said Magnus. “Come on. It could be fun. It’s at least profitable. Last job you’ll ever need.”

The opposing party challenged them. “We got all the ones we need. How good are youse guys? I bet none of you ain’t shit.”

Taako stood up. “Oh, it’s  _on.”_

* * *

 

“We only need the three,” Gundren complained. “Who’s the Druid?”

“She’s with me,” said Merle. “You want me, you get her.”

“Yeah, we’re kind of a BOGO deal,” added Nono.

“How  _old_  are you?”

Nono went for the default lie of every underaged Elf pretending to be an adult... I’m... I’m uh... I’m a hundred and.... one.”

Taako knew the lie well. He had used that exact lie in his own checkered past. What she needed was a grown-ass Elf to back her up. “It’s true,” he lied. “She’s a hundred and one.”

Nono opened her mouth to challenge him, then wisely shut it again. She would thank him later.

* * *

 

“...turns out Steven is a Rogue,” joked Magnus.

“I’ve got it,” sighed Nono, and busted out her thieves tools. She had the lock open in seconds.

“I thought you were a druid,” said Taako.

“I multiclassed.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dualityandsuch said:  
> That last one was so I could really ask for Ango and Sno Highchurch being kids on the moon.

The Stone in her hands said, “Hello, sirs. Hello ma’am.”

Aw shit. It was the baby nerd from the train. Wait. If he was here, what had happened to her  _mother?_  Noth that she actually cared that much, but... There had been a few moments, in-between fighting like Orcs and Elves, when Minmin actually showed that  _she_  cared enough about Nono to make sure certain things happened.

Like... not telling anyone that Minmin was Nono’s mother. Or that they were both underage.

Nono’s concerns had answers in less than a handful of seconds, because a door opened for the big reveal. The baby nerd was there, of course, in his fancy lad clothes, and behind him was Minmin. She was using the name La’ming as part of her ruse, the same way Nono was trying on Salat’krou for size. It was too complicated... and too late to change it now.

On one hand, she was relieved that her mother was still alive. On the other hand, those were fading bruises on her blue face, almost blending in there, but still perceptible. Thirdly, though, she was  _here._  Nono didn’t know whether to be happy, upset, or furious.

From the looks of things, Minmin didn’t know whether to be happy, terrified, or furious, either.

The air started to crackle with the energy between them as they decided on a common emotion... and it wasn’t ‘happy’.

* * *

 

It had taken some time for Angus to become friends with Salat’krou, the mysterious Druid/Rogue accompanying the Reclaimers on most, if not all, of their missions. She was vulnerable to the Thrall of the Relics, but also smart enough to stay well away when it came time to scoop them up for retrieval.

There was something... off about her. Something all the Elves and half-Elves in the Bureau knew and carefully did not talk about. A conspiracy that Team Sweet Flips was somehow also in on. Angus tried training with them to see if he could work it out, or at least glean something involving a clue from their collective behaviour.

What he got was... some very good training.

There was always an Elf or a half-Elf in the stands. Watching. Supervising. Like Madam Director or Taako would watch him when it was his turn for the rough and tumble. Almost like...

...Oh...

Like a wary guardian making sure their kid didn’t get hurt.

Like La’ming was always there, always lurking out of immediate view, watching and flinching  _like a parent forbidden access to their child... but watching from afar..._

But. Wait. Both La’ming and Salat’krou claimed to be one hundred and one years of age. Angus knew it was a lie in the case of La’ming, because he’d found her out on the train. The paperwork had a few subtle errors that most people would miss...

_She and Sal could almost be sisters..._

But La’ming was a Sea Elf and Sal was a Beach Elf. You only got a Beach Elf if a Sun Elf and a Sea Elf...

The clues slotted into place inside Angus’ dome piece with a click that should have been heard across the entire moon. Not sisters. Mother and daughter.

There had to be some hinky stuff happening - what, sixteen, seventeen years ago? Because La’ming would have been seventy-one when “Salat’krou” was born.

Angus decided that, for the sake of everyone present, plausible deniability had to be the order of the day. He could keep a secret just as well as anyone else on this base. Heck, he was certain Madam Director knew and didn’t say because otherwise those kids would be out in the gutter or worse.

He decided on being friendlier. Trying to give “Sal” a few more chances to act her age. Therefore, he invited her to show him some moves on the ‘agility obstacle course’ that the Bureau had set up. What it really was was a play gym and everyone knew it, but nobody said.

He waited until she was laughing with him and having fun before whispering, “So what’s your real name?”

“You know my name,” she evaded. “Salat’krou. Everyone knows.”

“No, I mean, your  _real_  name. The one that isn’t fake?”

She glared at him. They were both hanging upside-down by their knees and, for an instant, the beanpole of an Elf looked like she was considering murder. “Of course you worked it out. World’s greatest detective.”

“To your credit, it was everyone else that eventually gave it away.”

She righted herself, and said, “You going to do anything about it? Make it official? Tell the director?”

Angus flipped up to the vertical as well. “Miss? I haven’t even told  _Davenport.”_  Which was next to pointless since Davenport didn’t say much past his own name. “And I promise I won’t, either.”

There was a long moment in which Angus felt like he was being weighed in thee balance and calculated as to his worth by the ounce. Or, perhaps, the karat. She took a deep breath and whispered. “Nono.” A sigh. Another deep breath. “Nono... Ton.”

It was the best-kept secret on the moon. One never spoken, even by those who were in on it. Angus was proud to be a member of the conspiracy.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous said:  
> Sno Highchurch sassing all THB.

“Da-a-ad...”

“He’s your  _dad?”_  

Nono rolled her eyes. “Yeah, he adopted me years back and--”

“Who told you that you were adopted?” Merle was playing the fool rather well, but this was an old joke from way back.

Nono sighed as the other two chucklefucks took up the goof. This, she decided, meant something approaching war. It did not take long for the opening volleys.

“Hey. Hey. Druid... whatever your name is...”

“Yes, honoured elder?” Ooh! That one made him twitch. He had the signs of someone who’d lived through Saint Vingo’s and that was one phrase she could turn like a knife. Best to keep it for special occasions, then.

For the rest of the time, she taunted him with ‘grampa’ and senility jokes at his expense. She knew damn well that he just didn’t want to bother remembering anything, and therefore didn’t keep track.

“Can you do anything about that big door?” said Magnus Burnsides, big dumb lug and meat shield for everyone else.

“I could play ‘shave and a haircut’ on it,” Nono offered. “It doesn’t have any locks. No handles. Nothing. There’s nothing  _for_  me to do on it.”

“Tree shape it or something, I dunno.”

“Yeah, you don’t. Thanks for pointing that out, Lugnuts.”

It was later, Chaos had happened. They were scooped up by the Orc lady and ferried to the moon. Well. Not a moon. A cleverly-made secret base in the sky. Hiding the best that advanced science had to offer. Also people in uniforms and a truly gross feeling in her inner ear.

“So...” prompted Taako.

“Yes, grampa?”

“Use whatever your ninja skills are and find out some shit.”

“Oh, but Papà forbade me from talking to strangers, good gentle sir.”

Glare from Merle. “You can’t be feeling that terrible, you’ve still got a mouth on you.”

“You know they’re not detachable, Papà.”

In spite of how they were feeling Lugnuts laughed.


End file.
